Things.....

Things I'm not scared of...

Rejection...
Failure....
Death...
Going Blind...
Being Alone...
Not achieving my full potential...
Not learning from past mistakes....
Learning from past mistakes...
Change...

Yeah... I'm NOT afraid of these....

... Right?

Songs....

You ever had a song come on just at the right time...

in your day....

in your life ...

in your minute....

I did...

the Frames...

"People get ready"...

what makes it even better...

it's on my purchased list in my itunes...

on my computer.

and I don't remember buying it ...

or ever having heard it before....

... cool.

Being a Man...

So apparently in the last few years, even though I'm getting older, I've forgotten how to be a man. I know what you're thinking (my one reader) "I could of told you that years ago...ya fag!". Now I don't mean liking football, or knowing how to rebuild a transmission or even knowing how to rewire a kitchen lamp... I mean that women, most women still want to be taken care of. They want to know that the person they like is planning something for them, is making an effort to show them how much they like them.

Of course, in my defense (or my excuse) I have never dated a WOMAN, and I mean someone who really has their shit together. You know someone you see and you ask yourself "Self? What have I been doing for the last 10 years? Also another excuse is I've never dated a woman my age, you know all my past women in my life were at least 5-7 years younger, and (it seems to me anyway) that they're still in that phase of life where they "don't need no man to take care of them" "I don't need you to do that for me"

I have always had issues with my "niceness", I'm basically a really nice person, nice guy. And I have always kind of had an issue with this "niceness" being looked upon as a weakness, not sure really why that is. Think that's one reason why I work out the way I do, to make up for this weakness I have of being nice. I mean, if I can bench press 300, curl 140, do 300 - 500 crunches a day... I got to be a MAN, cause not everybody can do that. Hmmm ..... it's kind of like the show Kung Fu, he was a man of peace and a "nice guy" but he was a man too. I don't know, maybe I need to take some martial arts or something.

Now the real question is .... do I salvage this one... or just move on taking the lesson with me....

... She did say that she thinks I'm really hot!!!!!! :-)

Hmmmmmm

So Let me describe myself, I'm 5'11 and about 170lbs, I have a full or twin size bed, which ever is bigger... so I pretty much take up it all (when I sleep alone... Ahhhhh yeah ladies)

... so how is it possible that I can still wake up on the WRONG FUCKING SIDE!?!????!?!??!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?

Youth is wasted on the young

I am so amazed at how well I've aged. I feel like I am a fine wine, everyday, month, year I get better. Guess I should thank my parents, good genes and all. Don't even mind the hairline anymore, the eyes though.... I'd trade them in.

But I do agree with one thing...

Youth is wasted on the young.

Oldie but Goodie

OK so there's these two doors.... you heard this story before I know.... Behind one is, well happiness you know everything you ever wanted and behind the other door is., well the opposite, misery, pain, suffering etc, etc, etc, blah, blah, blah.... And of course the kicker is you don't which is which. And what ever door you chose you have to walk through and deal with forever.

Well, I tend to be the person who stands in front of both doors trying to decide which one to pick, analyzing each door, analyzing each choice, contemplating what would happen if I open door A and then the same for door B, then I get frustrated have a nap and do it again... forever.

When I should realize "Hey whatever is behind the door is behind the door" but for the time being I actually have both.... happiness and unhappiness. HA.

Tell me something I don't know about you.

OK let me catch you up, I've been dating Paula for about 3 months, we're in the bath together - what? I dig baths.

"tell me something I don't know about you" she said. You mean like just some fact you don't know or like something meaningful or like do you mean like something that I'm hiding from you because I think if you find out you'll leave? I do my patented charming laugh... hoping it works. She gives me that look, all us men know this look it's somewhere in between Regina King in JERRY MAGUIRE and your mom catching you with your hand in the cookie jar. Well now I just feel awkward mentioning my mom when I'm in the bathtub with this girl. But anywho...

Now you better start talking, as she pulls slightly away in the tub. Great, well guess I'm not getting any tonight now, but maybe I can still salvage things. "Well... I begin, you know how I mention I can't see really well at night.. and in the dark.

Yeah

Well it's because I have a genetic eye disease, that's caused me to lose a lot of my peripheral vision and my night vision... and may eventually lead to complete blindness.... can you turn on the hot water it's getting chilly in here. Another charming laugh as she stares at me, not turning on the hot water by the way.

Are you kidding?

Yeah, the water's fine.